It's all over!
My love-love relationship with Subway is, after ten long years, finally at an end.
I first found Subway when I was working in the States... little islands of health in an ocean of fatty fast food. When McDonald's were still supersizing their McCardiac's, Subway were already introducing their 6 grams of fat range. While Burger King were losing customers to the BSE scare, Subway were picking up the slack with their dolphin-friendly tuna sandwiches.
I heralded their arrival in the UK in the mid 90's, and was bitterly disappointed when the first Subway store in Brighton didn't make it and closed down. Apparently we weren't ready.
But they're back. They now have 25,000 stores worldwide, with over 500 of these in the UK. I can think of at least four in central Brighton. Subway shops are operated as franchises which may make them sound less aggressive as a brand - but don't let this fool you into thinking that it's any different from any other multinational chain. In 2002 they overtook McDonald's in their number of outlets, and they're planning to open up another 2,000 shops in the UK alone over the next four years... This is big business, make no mistake.
Today I went into the North Street Subway for my usual footlong toasted tuna sub. As I walked down the line telling them what bread I'd like, and yes, that I'd like cheese, I was eyeing up the vegetables. I prepared myself for the 'no onions' cricket that I like to play... the rules are this: You ask for all vegetables, but specifcy "no onions". If they reach for the onions but stop themselves before they touch them you get 1 run, if they touch the onions but don't pick any up it's a four. If the onions make it onto the sandwich but they then remember and take them off, that's six runs. You're out, though, if you have to repeat your "no onions" request in order to have them removed. This game works especially well if there are three or four of you ordering sandwiches from different staff members...
Today, though, I didn't get as far as no onions. For some reason my sandwich hadn't made it as far as the toasting oven - so I repeated my request to have it warmed up.
"No, sorry mate. We can't toast tuna subs any more. Something to do with it making the tuna go off."
...and there it is. Corporate bollocks at its worst. I imagine that a couple of people probably grumbled that their hot tuna sandwich tasted fishy (heaven forbid) and someone at Head Office decided to issue a nationwide recall of toasted tuna sandwiches.
The fax machine in every Subway in the land was probably buzzing this morning: "Urgent! To All Subway Franchisees. There has been an alarming increase in the number of toasted-tuna related incidents! According to our customers the toasting ovens are making the tuna go off, and although there is no scientific evidence to back this up we have decided to issue a nationwide ban on warming up tuna in your Subway ovens, even if the customer begs you. You have been warned. Lots of love, Subway Head Office."
So no longer is Subway the place where you can get your sandwich - just how you like it. The big sign that says why not try your favourite sandwich... toasted! is also somewhat lacking in substance if, like me, tuna happens to be your sandwich of choice.
Subway. It turns out to be just another multinational with no soul which is, quite frankly, a bit of a disappointment.
Bother.
Samwell's Blog entries 2 - 11 of 13 
Subway. Your sandwich, just how we like it.... 5 comments
Comment by Rob on Wednesday, 16th November 2005, 11:05pm
they always seem to burn mine when i ask for it toasted anyway.. and it goes all dry..
and in germany over pride time it took me about 30 mins to actually get my sub as they were mixing everyones orders up, so had to go back and re order about 3 times.
RUBBISH!!
Comment by brandon on Friday, 18th November 2005, 7:00pm
well this is one very brave step for me to admit this but i work in subway:(
sad i know but its only part time!!!
and the whole not toasting your tuna sub is shite if you want it toasted come to my store (well not mine im not that rich) to get it toasted! but you have to find out which one!
and rob sorry but you were in germany what did you expect!
Comment by BoyRobot on Saturday, 19th November 2005, 1:35am
at least germans are a bit more liberal with life. albeit a little scary at times..
& i always thought toasted tuna sounded a bit wrong anyway!
Comment by Samwell on Thursday, 24th November 2005, 1:12pm
Thanks Brandon! Following your comments I went and tried out another Subway, and sure enough they were willing to bend their tuna rules for me! So apparently it's only the North Street Subway which seems intent on spoiling my lunchtimes ;-)
Comment by Samwell on Wednesday, 4th January 2006, 1:52pm
They toasted my Sub! Hoorah! The lovely staff gave in to me yesterday... they explained that the tuna had mayonnaise mixed in with it and may not taste so good after being toasted, but they didn't mind toasting it anyway on that understanding! (I'll stop going on about it now, I promise!)
Subway. Your sandwich, just how we like it.... 5 comments