An open letter to DJs Wanker and A-Dam from a fan:

Dear Ads, Wanks,

We had to write to thank you for another delightful evening. How we have come to know and love your sweaty, heaving, magical little night - to rely on the sleazy electro tune pulled out of the bag at just the right moment - your modest smiles, your tenacity, your delight in filling the dancefloor while educating us with brilliant new tunes (and old tunes we really should know)... Dear boys, what can we say but thankyou, thankyou once again! You are truly cherished. Don't go changing to try and please us, et cetera.

Fondest regards until next time,

A.N. Punter

Ps - Camp Actor though - goodness