If your birthday's coming up then you could do worse than head to Boogaloo for some face-painting. Although I don't think Dolly Rocket's got much artistic flair. To be honest, nor has Boogaloo Stu. The paint is, of course, chocolate. So anyone with a chocolate allergy should avoid this. Actually, it's nutella. So anyone with a nut... Bill? Bill? Has anyone seen Bill? What d'you mean he's gone to casualty because he can't breathe?

This evening's antics begin at Komedia where the talented Uncle B. was performing in this month's Treason Show. I'd tell you that it's a great show and shouldn't be missed, but tickets are hard enough to get as it is, so avoid it like the plague...