Another splendid night on the good ship FTPA. Able seamen Wanker and A-Dam slung out some hearty electro shanties and debuted Peaches' new full-lengther 'Impeach My Bush' to a buoyant throng. Meanwhile a stowaway in unseaworthy heels crawled across the deck sniffing lesbotic ladies feet (really) until forced to walk the plank by an unimpressed bouncer. Too many snifters of the captain's rum one suspects, the blaggard.

If ye fancy rum, sodomy and the electro lash on this vessel be warned - it sails at the end of the month from this day forward.

Hoist the mainsails me hearties!