The lights go down and a mysterious voice from nowhere introduces Lucy Porter, who makes her entrance, barefoot and dressed as a carrot. Cheerily saying her hellos, Lucy immediately starts to get to know her audience, who warm to her sweet charm straight away. Before long, we learn that Ian, our appointed 'audience leader', is a heterosexual bed salesman who lives close to the marina... but are offered no explanation for the carrot suit - at least not yet. A latecomer is greeted, "Thank God you're here... we've been worried!", and introduced to Ian. Lucy quips that she sometimes appreciates things all the more for their lateness... particularly her period.

A few minutes later and the carrot conundrum is answered; the show is apparently sponsored by the British Carrot Growers Association. The £200 (or perhaps 200lb) of funding means that Lucy not only is obliged to wear the carrot costume, but to generally promote the greatness of carrots throughout the show. To this end, a banner is revealed and we're treated to Lucy guiding us through the development of a special carrot jingle before hearing the slightly less humorous final cut. None of this is without reason however, Lucy shares with us her concerns about ethical corporate sponsorship (some of her previous shows having been sponsored by tobacco companies) and how she worries about leading a good life... It seems she's been particularly thinking about weddings and funerals - specifically how people always seem to have nice things to say about those concerned; what good people they were. Lucy wants to be thought of fondly and as a good person. She wants the eulogy at her funeral to reflect that - and that's just what the musings of tonight's show are based on.

As a single woman in her 30s, Lucy finds most of her friends "..are gay men and cats - probably attracted by the stench of gin and regret". She doesn't "..have any children... I haven't met the right nanny" - but she's happy and strives to be like some of the good people she knows. Her mum, for example, "..but perhaps less irritating". For Lucy, Kim Wilde is the epitome of good - "..she sings, she gardens AND she advertises vitamins!" She's the "anti-Carol Vorderman", whose participation in dodgy loan ads means she "..not only knows 666 to be the number of the beast, but also how he arrived at it". The audience erupts once more.

Lucy shares that she's really trying to be more environmentally responsible - she'd love to shop at farmers markets, but owing to their lack of special offers and loyalty schemes, has had to settle for Waitrose. She's even got a big hemp shopping sack to avoid the evils of plastic carrier bags - but still uses one to disguise her loo rolls in order to avoid becoming known as the "poo lady". We get a hilarious insight into how a first date might work for Lucy and the awkwardness of this perhaps being at lunchtime instead of in the evening - therefore seeming unending. We also hear about one of the cabaret venues she performs in - Central Station - and her naivety concerning a particular night in the depths of the club there.

The show flew past, Lucy brilliantly flitting from one subject to another - often deviating from her tales, but never once losing her way. Everything was held together beautifully and rounded off superbly with Lucy delivering her own eulogy from the funeral she's apparently spent a lot of time thinking about. I won't spoil the ending here, but if you get the chance to see this show, don't miss it. Listen out for what music Lucy would like played as her coffin leaves the crematorium - and where she'd like her ashes scattered...